Are you lazy busy?

There are times in my life (usually this happens for me in the middle of the night or at the beginning of a new season) when I need to ask myself some honest questions about life. Often these are big ones like:

Who am I?
What am I doing with my life?

These are just 2 big questions, and they can be nearly impossible to navigate on your own.

That’s why us men need a community.

We need a group of others around us to not only help us wrestle with these bigger questions – but perhaps more importantly, help us ask the honest assessment questions.

Like ….

Are you always busy … yet you feel like you never really get anything done?If the answer is yes, you’re not alone.

There are 2 things that contribute to this most often:

Drifting. The state of being when your life is on autopilot and your unconscious habits, patterns, fears are running your life. This is opposed to you consciously and intentionally taking action in the most important areas of your life.

Lazy Busy. Being in a perpetual state of busyness, wishing it were different, yet unwilling to take the actions necessary to and face the discomforts of creating change.

Drifting is a term coined by Napoleon Hill in the his book, Outwitting the Devil.

Over a 20-year period, Napoleon Hill interviewed 25,000 people who at the end of their lives felt like they’d failed to live up to their potential. They’d left chips on the table. They’d allowed time (and subsequently, their lives) to slip through their fingers.

How did this happen? Drift.

How do you spot drift in your life?

1. Your fears drive your behavior.
2. You lack enthusiasm and initiative for anything you are not forced to undertake.
3. You begin many things but finish very few.
4. You publicly (or privately) criticize (or judge) others.
5. You lack a major purpose in life.

Lazy Busy is inspired by Tim Ferriss in the 4 Hour Workweek where he says (paraphrased):

“Being perpetually busy is the ultimate form of laziness. It’s merely indiscriminate action left unchecked over long periods of time.”

Being busy can give you the illusion of being productive. At least for a short period of time.

Eventually however, you wake up at the end of a year (or a decade) and ask yourself the question “where did the time go and what did I do with it?”

Lazy Busy is a specific form of drift, typically arising from:

1. An inability to find peace in periods of stillness
2. A fear that if you’re not constantly in motion then something bad will happen

A tribe around you will help you wrestle with the questions better.

But if the old saying holds true “you are the average of the 5 people you spend your most time with,” then what implications does that hold for your ability to become your best self?

To really lead your life well?

To set a consistent tone in your marriage and family?

To show up fully in all areas of your life?

You can find your tribe by joining a MoHW Mastermind group.