How Do You Get In Your Own Way?

Relationship Design, Simplicity

What's your view?How many times do you find yourself doing something you’ve told yourself you were going to stop doing?
Eating that dessert, smoking, turning to porn, gossiping, or whatever it is that brings you struggle.
One thing we often say to ourselves when it comes to our vices, “I feel guilty about ________, but it is just so hard to quit.”
If we keep telling ourselves it’s hard to quit, it will be.
Let me explain.
The mind always believes what the mind tells itself is true.
Therefore, if our mind tells us that quitting is hard, it will be hard. And since our mind strives for consistency of belief and action, telling ourselves that quitting is hard means we won’t quit.
A “belief” is just an “oft repeated thought”.
If the mind thinks something often enough or long enough — whether it is factually true or not — it will come to believe it’s true.
We “believe” many things that aren’t actually true, but since we have always thought them, we believe them, and act accordingly.:
Nothing ever changes until we decide to get up today and do something different from the way we did it yesterday.
Most of us have good intentions to “someday” change something about our lives. But most people never change because they never get around to doing something different today from the way they did it yesterday.
Let me conclude our little coaching session with the encouragement to think of stopping whatever it is that gets in the way as a “challenge” – not something that is hard.
Our brain can tackle a challenge, but it won’t volunteer to do things it believes to be “hard.”
Let’s say your vice is smoking.
You could start with this: get up tomorrow with the commitment to smoke three less cigarettes than you smoked today.
To sum all this up, here are your Twitter Truths:

  • The mind always believes what the mind tells itself is true.
  • The mind seeks consistency of thought and action.
  • A belief is nothing more than an oft repeated thought.
  • If you change how you think, you can change how you act.
  • If you want to change something, you have to do something different today from the way you did it yesterday.

How about you?
How is the way you view things getting in your way?
What is your brain telling you that you should change, but you believe it will be too hard?
What is one thing you could do different today from the way you did it yesterday that could take your life in a new direction?
In other words, where are you stuck right now?
If it’s your marriage or important relationship, I want to help.
Today our online course, Married Life 911, gets underway.
I only have one question:
Today, what are you going to do different from the way you did it yesterday?
See you in class.

(photo source)
Adapted from Robert Glover