This past week, my wife sent me out on a date…alone.
Well I wasn’t alone exactly.
She gave me the gift of going out on a day long dive trip with a group of 5 other Scuba fanatics.
So I wasn’t alone, I just wasn’t with her.
But there was a set activity. There was food. There were people. My wife was trying to do something nice for me.
So for all intents and purposes we can call it a date. I just didn’t happen to be with her.
A Date without Your Spouse
Some couples have found that going out alone for a day (or even longer) is just what they need to remember why they’re in love.
Please indulge me while I use my own personal example to illustrate this concept that I’ll label as “spouseless dating”.
My wife first set up this “date” with something in mind that she knows I love. In other words, she was focusing on what my ideal date would be.
Next, she did it without my knowing. She called the dive company, booked the charter, and paid for it all without even a whisper to me.
Next, she made sure I had a clear schedule on that day to be able to go out. Again, without my knowing.
Just two days before the date, she told me about it to be able to prepare. She was incredibly excited to announce what she had done – and rightfully so. It was cool!
The day came and she sent me off early in the morning with a kiss and a “have fun!”
Key Principles to a Spouseless Dating
The first principle to this is that my wife was extremely interested in my happiness. She focused on something that she knew I would love.
Next, she spent some time planning and making the necessary arrangements. In other words, she was giving.
Another key principle that resulted out of all of this was a huge burst of gratitude on my part.
I was immediately grateful upon her telling me of my date. I then came home from the date jazzed from a day of Scuba and incredibly grateful for my wife for giving it to me.
But it goes beyond just getting to do something fun. It was the thought involved that made it all special.
Your Turn
So what happens now?
As for me, I feel very inclined to return the favor and send her off on her own date. And I know just what she loves – a nice, relaxing trip to the day spa with no kids!
The act of spouseless dating can actually bring you together. Being interested in your loved one’s happiness, giving, and increasing gratitude are all very necessary components to a successful marriage.
I’m not saying this should become the norm. Going on dates together on a consistent basis should be a key focus for any couple.
However, if you need to shake things up a little, try a spouseless date.
Have you ever gone on a spouseless date? What was your experience?