A Loving Marriage Needs Loving Words


Post written by dates and romance columnist Sean Marshall of Family Rocketship.

You never do anything around here.
When are you starting your diet?
I’m annoyed with you.
Thank you for all you do.
You’re beautiful.
I love you.
Which words sound better to you? For me, it’s the second set for sure!
One of the best ways we can enhance the level of romance and love in our marriage is to watch the words that come out of our mouths.

Words Are Powerful

Whether we know it or not, words are very powerful! The words we use are a reflection of the thoughts and feelings we have. When we speak with others, we relay what we think and feel onto them.
So the question is, what are we saying to people? What words are we using? Especially with our spouses.
Read the next few words and pay attention to how it makes you feel – stupid, hate, dumb, worthless, lazy.
Now imagine hearing those from your spouse? Not cool huh?
What about the flipside? Read (and feel) these words – beautiful, talented, smart, dazzling, awesome, love.
Think of how it would feel to hear those words coming from your spouse on a frequent basis. It would be awesome!

As spouses, one of our most vital roles is to help those we love feel good about themselves.  -Keith Harrell

In life, we know that what you put out comes back to you. The words we use with our spouses are a big, big part of that. But it starts with us.

Decrease Negative Words

To improve the language we use with our significant other, the first step is to decrease the amount of negative words we use.
It’s a difficult habit to break. The first step is simply to actively listen to your words throughout the day. What words are you using? Why are you using them? Chances are you don’t really mean them.
The next step is to stop yourself in your tracks as soon as you hear yourself hissing out a negative word. Pause, reflect, and try to change the word to a positive word.
If you can’t, just don’t say anything. You know, the old, “If you can’t say anything good…”

Increase Positive Words

The next step is to now swap out the negative words with positive words. This is where the fun really begins. You can start to actively compliment each other.
It takes some time. It takes some concerted effort. But in the end, it’s training yourself to start seeing and focusing on all of the good in your spouse – and then telling them about it!
Naturally, it helps to get your spouse involved too. Talk with your loved one and let him or her know this is a concern for you. Ask for their help. You love them right? Let your words reflect that!

More Love through Words!

Using the right words in your marriage will increase the love you feel for each other. It will also echo out to those around you. Others will see how you treat each other – especially if you have children!
This can have profound effects. In the end, we all know that nothing is more important than our relationship with our spouse. When we use the right words, we’re sure to keep that relationship alive and vibrant.
Are there any words in particular that you love hearing from your spouse?