j_k_emezi: Well, it's less about the show, more about the practice.

corey_allan: Okay,

j_k_emezi: My practice is called elevated recovery. We do recoverycoaching Even though we, we don't use the recovery, we use the mrebooting, and we primarily work with business owners and professionals who struggle with actually compulsive behaviors. Our focus is high speed inernetponography, and we work with these individuals mainly because just due to the perceived status In society in the church, in whatever environment they're in, there's a lot of shame

corey_allan: Hm,

j_k_emezi: and I personally, I, I struggled with this behavior for about eleven years, been rooted for fourteen years and four months right now, and I've ran my practice for since two thousand and twelve, so that's we're going into our eleventh year of doing this. So we have a flag ship program is called Point Boots, Um, and we got a couple of hundred clients. We work with them on ending out of control behavior with phonography,

corey_allan: Hm.

j_k_emezi: So typically our clients already educated on the dangers of phonography, and we work with them to get them to a point where they can require their brain rebuild intimacy with their partners and kind of move on from the traditional recovery perspective of you. Your once an addict, always an addict. I think that could apply for some individuals based on their brain chemists, But for our typical clients, they re wired your brain within a year and a half to two years, the following our system, and the whole idea is to be able to move on with your life and realize that you don't need phonography and you don't need this intense sexual stimuli to be happy. So that's what we do. Man,

corey_allan: Okay, well, that's that's very needed for certain. Um, So what are? Tell me about the process? I mean, I'm just let's just keep going. We'll just we'll just keep talking And this is the show. So

j_k_emezi: Yeah,

corey_allan: what about

j_k_emezi: yeah,

corey_allan: the

j_k_emezi: yeah,

corey_allan: process?

j_k_emezi: that's all good man. I really like that. this is not alcohol. By the way, this is this myominossometims.

corey_allan: Oh God, oh God, he.

j_k_emezi: people like Hey, hey, dude, I was like, was just like

corey_allan: I'll go

j_k_emezi: drinking.

corey_allan: let me put

j_k_emezi: my.

corey_allan: something in this then so I can join

j_k_emezi: Yeah,

corey_allan: you.

j_k_emezi: I assume you probably run across this sometimes in your practice, probably a lot of times.

corey_allan: Hm,

j_k_emezi: But the system we use is called the Pornryboot system, and Corn, To reason that we use Re boot instead of recover is because traditional recovery. I feel that for high speed in a net pornography it's a little bit outdated. You know,

corey_allan: Okay,

j_k_emezi: Recovery conjures up this idea of the things. you've lost this out of control behavior And you want to you know you want to recover them. You want to bring them back. You want to go back to who you were, but let's say you were working with a client who began his out of control behavior when he was sixty seventeen years old, and it escaladed over the years. Now he's in his early intimate thirties. He's a professional who's got you know, one point five kids, and he wants to end this behavior because he's like I'm not being a great dad.

corey_allan: Hm,

j_k_emezi: I'm struggling with point in due, direct out this function. My marriage is becoming sexless and there's just so much my partners struggling with betrayal trauma Because he's found out about my secret behavior. Now he wants to recover that which he lost, but he's not the same young man that he was. So Our concept of rebooting is to hit the reset button, just like you would re boot a computer, and it's to re examine your values, because a lot of four values and standards as a man who struggles with an out of control behavior are unfortunately, Lord, by your behavior, your view of intimacy, the way you feel you should your desire for sex what you think is appropriates.

corey_allan: Hm,

j_k_emezi: All of that is impacted

corey_allan: Absolutely

j_k_emezi: by what we call your arousal temple At is impacted by your behavior with phonography. And so the system is pretty simple. We focus on changing your habits first, and there's a lot of like pop psychology out there and changing habits and lots of people helping people to quit poor, just end The habit, But it's

corey_allan: Right,

j_k_emezi: not about a habit. You've got to change your habits, But in order for that habit to stay on in your life, Corey, you've also got to change your life style. It has to change like your lifestyle also involves changing your environment, not just your physical environment but also your online environment, where you hanging out, you constantly browsing through Instagram, and then suddenly you're getting triggered your own tiktok. You only events. What are you doing

corey_allan: Right,

j_k_emezi: Now? Once you've changed your lifestyle, That's good enough. Some really good recovery Programs do that, but then they end up using will power to maintain it. you know, day by day, hang out with the right people and so on That's fine. People can live that way. Um, I believe that men. I believe that families should live an adventurous life. I'm not a big fan of a black and white gray kind of life. I think we can do a lot of amazing things.

corey_allan: Hm,

j_k_emezi: and in order to do that, we have to change our self image.

corey_allan: Okay,

j_k_emezi: the image you have yourself off yourself as a man Who is dependent on pornography, the image you have of yourself, all these strong emotions and unresolved issues that you were medicating with

corey_allan: Hm,

j_k_emezi: your out of control behavior.

corey_allan: hm,

j_k_emezi: Those things need to be addressed. You need to find out if there's any trauma that you are medicating and estetizing with sexual behavior, and once yourself image has changed has changed, you become a man who no longer no longer needs it,

corey_allan: Right,

j_k_emezi: and I could just keep going on.

corey_allan: No, I get it. but

j_k_emezi: Oh

corey_allan: so explain, Jake explained to me,

j_k_emezi: Yeah,

corey_allan: Um, the the high speed porn aspect because I've come across this too, but I think what sets you apart is Um, where there's a different thing that happens with that aspect Versus you know, I grew up with magazines and then occasionally video, because the Internet went around when I was introduce. Born.

j_k_emezi: M,

corey_allan: Um,

j_k_emezi: hm.

corey_allan: So it's one of those high speed is a whole different beast.

j_k_emezi: It is, dude. how old are you?

corey_allan: I'm fifty one.

j_k_emezi: Oh my God, you look good for fifty one. I was

corey_allan: What?

j_k_emezi: just think I was like. Okay. He's got to be like. maybe like forty two. Forty

corey_allan: No,

j_k_emezi: three

corey_allan: I'm fifty one

j_k_emezi: are

corey_allan: yet.

j_k_emezi: taking care of yourself. Now that's good. I'm thirty nine. I did not. I grew up with not much Internet. Honestly, I was exposed to it by a playboy that my parents, because she was a nanny, she had this laying around and I picked it up and I was about eight years Old And you know I hadn't hit puberty,

corey_allan: Hm,

j_k_emezi: and when I picked it up, it was as if there was this explosion in my brain. It wasn't sexual, but I knew it was naughty.

corey_allan: Right,

j_k_emezi: I knew it was not supposed to see that,

corey_allan: Right,

j_k_emezi: and there was this just a grenalin rush and that that had the taboo nature of it,

corey_allan: Hm,

j_k_emezi: and I just got hooked on that rush. and so I continued looking at those naughty pictures whenever I could unto life Head puberty, and I learned how to master Bates. and then I was like I was fourteen years old. I realized what the deal was, but the high speed part is very dangerous. A brief history of it is that phonography was already addictive, but it didn't become as widespread as it is now until about two thousand and six, and that was the advent of you tube. Now, Once you tube came about, everything changed. In fact, all

corey_allan: Hm,

j_k_emezi: the tube sites out there actually based You tube. It was an algorithm that could allow people to switch from John rode to Jena quite easily know back in to day was so difficult. The problem with pornography is that high speed in an pornography addiction is that it is accessible and it is very anonymous.

corey_allan: Yep,

j_k_emezi: So anybody can you can just pick up your phone and it's

corey_allan: Yep,

j_k_emezi: right there. It's anonymous and nobody can catch you back in to day. You had to go across town. Make sure nobody saw you get the magazine. Come back across town

corey_allan: Yep.

j_k_emezi: or get the V. S. Remember back, and I remember the V. H, S.

corey_allan: Oh, yeah, I do. too.

j_k_emezi: M. Then you know, late night cable quickly followed through and you could still get caught with a V.

corey_allan: Hm.

j_k_emezi: S. You could leave it in there late night cable. Somebody turns on the like, What are you doing, Billy?

corey_allan: Right.

j_k_emezi: But the high speed Internet part was with you to you. Once that started, men started becoming Done it

corey_allan: Okay,

j_k_emezi: because let's take a quick pivot to fantasy. If you don't mind.

corey_allan: Yeah,

j_k_emezi: There's nothing wrong with fantasy. It's absolutely healthy. The thing people fear about fantasy is that others will discover the fantasy and judge them based on that. And unfortunately, what pornography did was that it took all those fantasyes and re created them. And so now individuals had the ability to jump From fantasy to fantasy

corey_allan: Right,

j_k_emezi: and they kept doing it so your brain re wires, because eventually it begins to believe that that is the way to engage in sex. You know, most men who view pornography, I tell my clients when they come in when they're etting a little bit lost. I'm like, Do you know that you have seen more naked people and more sex than all your ancestors? Put together all your ancestors. They Haven't seen

corey_allan: Right

j_k_emezi: as much as you have,

corey_allan: right

j_k_emezi: and they just go like. Oh, my God is like. Do you think you evolved

corey_allan: Right.

j_k_emezi: to consume that much phonography? They're like. No,

corey_allan: That's a sobering thought

j_k_emezi: It really is man

corey_allan: To realize what you're exposed to, And that's the other thing I'd heard to was on the high speed. Um, It allows for the continual stimulation like you're describing of Okay, this isn't doing it for me. So one click now I get a different, a different hit and a different taboo like you're describing when you were first introduced to it. because mine would have been a similar one of the feelings I didn't understand, but I liked them. and and so wait as soon as that starts to wane. Well, I'm gon click over here now and then click over here. Click over here, and it allowed you know it. Just the brain is not meant to why it doesn't work that way. I mean when you're with a person it doesn't work that way.

j_k_emezi: Exactly, And that's the reason why men struggle from what's called point in Nwstirectile, dis function,

corey_allan: Hm,

j_k_emezi: which basically happens when you know your your partner, your wife, your goal friend, whomever you're being intimate with, she cannot be five women at the same time,

corey_allan: Right,

j_k_emezi: Right, she cannot be flawless either, right, she's got flaws. she's got stretch mark. she's got all these things. You lose The ability to find the beauty in that I talked

corey_allan: Yeah,

j_k_emezi: to clients and I'm just like You do know that some of those things are our sex and they're like what they are like. Yeah, if you can't, if you can't

corey_allan: Yeah,

j_k_emezi: look at your wife and you can't find all those little things beautiful. I was just like you got work to do

corey_allan: Yeah,

j_k_emezi: and just shocked like, Oh my god, but like I was, I was having sexarhood the other day and I hit the craziest things and she had. I found myself wishing she More than because I could see, I could see Havens right, And is that weird because I thought that was gross. I was like. You do know that we are more or less was like we're human. Rigtwich,

corey_allan: Hm,

j_k_emezi: Were were to use recruits and were meet suits right

corey_allan: Hm,

j_k_emezi: And you saw something human and you got disgusted by it

corey_allan: Hm,

j_k_emezi: and I explained to them that what pornography does, high speeded pornography does is that it exaggerates everything. it

corey_allan: Right,

j_k_emezi: is actors people act, And your partner cannot be all those things at one time, So when men continually condition themselves to these unrealistic images and scenarios, their brain gets used to it, and they try to re create that in their lives. the way the process typically works is that, Um, when a man gets actually aroused, he typically releases to stostrone. When you look at a lot of the science, you'll find them talking about dopmedopm, op man, which is not, And it's the next thing, But the precursor to dopamine is to stostrone, actually cenergistic, and once you've released Tom Testostrone, you then release dopamine And what dopamine does in the process is that it gives you this urge to resolve it. So you're just like I want to experience that pleasure. That's what dopamine actually does. It doesn't actually give you pleasure. It gives you the urge to resolve that feeling for pleasure. but then you keep chasing it because

corey_allan: Hm,

j_k_emezi: you've got Ultiple tabs open and you're watching this scene, but suddenly on the side line or however, it works right now. In use you tube. as an example, something else that's better comes up And so you're like, Okay, okay, Okay, I'm not going to ejaculate or orgasm To this. I'm going to go to the next thing.

corey_allan: Right,

j_k_emezi: and what happens as you end up creating more dopminreceptors than you actually need. The next thing that comes after that is no effrneffort, which is released from your adrenal glands, And it's kind of like a A cousin to adrenalin. Is you want to consider it to be like a a videographer? It's the guy who's like keeping track of the entire story

corey_allan: Right,

j_k_emezi: right and once now, if anefrinis released right after that, you have all these other indogenous opits that are released when you orgasm, and the biggest issue with this when it comes to high speed Internet, is that those indogenous opiots are released when you organism, But you train yourself over and over again to delay that

corey_allan: Okay,

j_k_emezi: when you and you delay it by viewing different types of phonography and different

corey_allan: Right,

j_k_emezi: goners. When

corey_allan: right,

j_k_emezi: you end up with your partner, you're n't able to do that

corey_allan: Yeah,

j_k_emezi: and you're just you're wondering. Your pens is like, dude,

corey_allan: Yeah,

j_k_emezi: you know, it's like a, like a gummy worm. It's not working. Like what's happening. It's like.

corey_allan: It's very

j_k_emezi: I hope

corey_allan: descriptive

j_k_emezi: this is.

corey_allan: there. it's very descriptive there, sir.

j_k_emezi: I Apol. I, I don't know. I

corey_allan: it's

j_k_emezi: listened to some episodes. I didn't know how

corey_allan: it's accurate.

j_k_emezi: the script.

corey_allan: No, No,

j_k_emezi: Okay

corey_allan: it's accurate because it's because it's also one of those things that you know. your brain in a lot of ways seems to just get bored or distracted or it's not feeding like you could in the other arena that you're spending time with a high speed where no Woman can change scenes like that, or as the things that could be quoted unquote a turn off when in reality No, it's part of a beautiful aspect of a story together. If you, if it's a long term relationship, the standard of beauty is your spouse, because you've created life with that person to, and life will change and gravity will take over and wrinkles will come in, and skin spots will happen And veins will be seen, and depending on how you're orient towards that, I think of that is, that's just sexy because we have started living life. Look at what we created, look at what we've done, look at who we are. That's when it starts to get good. But you're describing an element of it's. It almost makes that gap even harder to bridge. If my standard has been high speed high speed porn.

j_k_emezi: What we've created together and that share journey. And

corey_allan: Hm,

j_k_emezi: that's the thing that a lot of men lose while they're in their relationship. You miss

corey_allan: Hm,

j_k_emezi: out on what is happening with your partner Because you're

corey_allan: Hm,

j_k_emezi: living in a fantasy world and you wake up one day to realize like you lost all the tiny little bits, And the worst part is you don't even know you lost it.

corey_allan: Right, Right, Okay, so they've You've got the habits in place. You've got the kind of the rebooting of my sense of self and my identity? Is there other other aspects?

j_k_emezi: Those are the three things as a process. Do so. The first part is the habits part, The habits

corey_allan: Okay?

j_k_emezi: part are pretty simple. It's really building habits to first of all manage your emotions, and that's very important because a lot of men, when men are using phonography there, usually using it to either deal with stress to

corey_allan: Hm,

j_k_emezi: deal with some sort of unresolved issue, or to manage very strong emotions. And when you start doing this, when let's say your teen age are brains still developing. You don't really Have any coping strategies. Then what happens is emotions kind of freeze in place, certain emotions right. So maybe you were in a family where, Um, let's say there was shame in your family. Let's say random scenario. On the surface, mom and dad made it look like you guys were a perfect middle class suburban family, But the truth is that behind closed doors that was alcoholism. that was bankruptcy.

corey_allan: Yeah,

j_k_emezi: That all these things, So you, you Lived with a secret, for example, and that were shameful, but everyone made you do that, and then pornography came into your life, and it became the thing that you used to deal with that secret when mom and dad were yelling and screaming when you came back from school, knowing that all were going to move to a different state because you all couldn't afford it, you used point. Now you never resolve that

corey_allan: Right,

j_k_emezi: and you get into adulthood and every morning you wake up and because it's piled up over the years, you start feeling shame with them. Random things right,

corey_allan: Yeah,

j_k_emezi: You're with your wife and she says hey, honey, let's let's you know you want to move to another neighborhood, or she talks about that, and suddenly you're triggered and you don't know why,

corey_allan: Right,

j_k_emezi: But when you end up using phonography, so these are some other things. Well talk, we talk about with clients. What we have them start the day with taking a moment to feel. A lot of guys just wake up and then go go go, or they

corey_allan: Right,

j_k_emezi: have some. like the most successful guys have some gun ho on Routine, which is which is fine By telling guys to slow down and start focusing on your emotions. You can use a simple feelings. exercise like

corey_allan: Hm,

j_k_emezi: a statement, like I feel, and a lot of men who struggle with this behavior feel nothing. They don't feel anything but like. I feel numb and I'm sure you've had some. You have some. some clients like this, right?

corey_allan: Yeah,

j_k_emezi: Yeah, I feel numb. I don't feel anything Jki'mlike. So okay, keep doing it. Start with the physical sensations and I feel tired and then I feel irritated. I feel annoyed. This exercise that J K gave me is like stupid. I want. I want to do it.

corey_allan: Yeah,

j_k_emezi: It's a stupid exercise I want.

corey_allan: right,

j_k_emezi: Is this even going to work? Was

corey_allan: right,

j_k_emezi: like that's right. That's fine. Write that down. I feel this exercise is stupid, but eventually they'll start finding. I feel irritated. I first remember feeling irritated when and I encouraged him to go back.

corey_allan: Okay,

j_k_emezi: That's all you need to do in the morning. They start with a habit like that. Then they also start with setting good boundaries. Now the definition we have of boundaries different from what traditional addiction recovery has. This has to do with the habit aspect of this, which is Um. in traditional recovery of boundaries where you know you don't cross this. It's like a lion. it's like a bought border, But the thing is, the human brain is very interesting. One of our principles is work with your brain. Don't work against you,

corey_allan: Okay,

j_k_emezi: And working against your brain would be saying, Oh, that's a boundary and your brain says Yeah, that for we have to, we have to break the boundary, But the definition we have of a boundary is where something which is good for you ends and where something that is undesirable for you begins.

corey_allan: Okay,

j_k_emezi: So it's a little bit more flexible. That way you can check in with yourself and go like. Oh, if I continue down this path, the good things stop and the Un desire Bill begins. So you set habits with your boundaries, So you're like Okay, I was in Instagram for a little bit, or I was at a work meeting. Everything was cool and then there was this pretty lady that started speaking. Okay, Nothing wrong with that right. I noticed that she's a beautiful woman.

corey_allan: Yeah,

j_k_emezi: fight That's good behavior. Undesirable behavior begins when you're like you know, Let me check her out on Linked in.

corey_allan: Yeah,

j_k_emezi: check out. like, Let me just check her out on Facebook. Maybe, And that's where you start

corey_allan: Yeah,

j_k_emezi: going down to rabbit

corey_allan: yeah,

j_k_emezi: hole. So that's a little bit of the habit pot. we build habits around little things like that.

corey_allan: That's perfect, so I guess I mean, you made a comment that you work with people and it's usually a year or two, year and

j_k_emezi: Yeah,

corey_allan: a half, two years, and that's kind of what it takes for the whole reboot process to really get deep in and and transformational.

j_k_emezi: Yes, yeah, So when I struggled with this behavior, I went to traditional twelve step programs. I was raised as a Catholic and I went to Christian approaches. I did the whole thing. I did a lot of deep meditation and I did a lot of breath work when it was weird to do it

corey_allan: Hm,

j_k_emezi: it En fifteen years ago, and while some of those things helped, I kept feeling that I had to live with this forever, and most of the places I went framed it as a battle, Especially the religious part. It was like a battle with this other part of yourself,

corey_allan: Yeah,

j_k_emezi: and that was so difficult for me, Cory. because Um, my understanding of it was that it wasn't. I felt the battle was keeping it making this process longer. I think it was taking years because you're fighting this enemy. I had realized that whatever this thing was, it was something that developed to protect me. It was something that I was using phonography to protect me from pain from strong feelings from stress and compassion was where it began. It was to begin to stop hating that aspect of myself and realizing that it was okay. It. it was biological. it developed to protect me and

corey_allan: Hm,

j_k_emezi: I had to make peace with it first. in order to Forward

corey_allan: Okay,

j_k_emezi: the moment a man starts doing this. He's already cutting off years from

corey_allan: Yeah,

j_k_emezi: the process because he's learning to love himself.

corey_allan: Yeah,

j_k_emezi: his learning to embrace his shadow. I have all my clients begin the process with writing a thank you in a good by letter to phonography, and the thank you part is to take a moment to actually appreciate what it did for you. Very simple thing could be for some end like I did Not know what vagina was. The only way I knew where to insert my penis was thanks to pernographyan. If not for that, I wouldn't have known because biology books just didn't

corey_allan: Right,

j_k_emezi: didn't burn graphic enough. Um, phonography helped me out when I had no coping strategies. It was. It was a pretty cool thing I learned about my body. I learned about

corey_allan: Hm,

j_k_emezi: sexuality and they go through all those positive things and then they write a good by letter which could be along the tone of You've been very helpful to me. You helped me when I was a boy when I was a young man, But you've been in my life for too long, Like

corey_allan: Yeah,

j_k_emezi: I meant this wonderful human being

corey_allan: Yeah,

j_k_emezi: and I want to be with her, but our relationship has to end because she's going to provide me with everything and the rest of the things. I have to learn how to develop them myself. And this is so critical to the Re boot process, because when you love yourself as you go through, For example, a traditional recovery is if you slip or you relapse,

corey_allan: Yeah,

j_k_emezi: we're going to start from day one again. No, No, it's it's your slips and your relapses are data.

corey_allan: Yeah,

j_k_emezi: That's all it is.

corey_allan: absolutely

j_k_emezi: And if you're learning from the data your brain does require. but if you're hitting the reset button and climbing up that ladder again, you're reinforcing shame and

corey_allan: Yeah,

j_k_emezi: guilt and all those negative emotions, So I didn't know The year and a half to two year thing. It took me about eighteen months, even though I had tried for years using a system I put together, and it was probably about the seventh year of running elevated recovery that I started checking back in with clients. I was very scared to do it, to be honest, because I was like,

corey_allan: Hm.

j_k_emezi: Oh my God, what if they relaxed and almost all my clients were good, And that was that was a huge revelation to me and I just realize That everybody the max amount of time it took using this system, habits, lifestyle and self image. It sounds kind of clash, but it's just an easy way to understand

corey_allan: Yeah,

j_k_emezi: it. a year and a half, to maximum of two years. the brain re wired, And what this means is that they could be accidentally exposed to phonography,

corey_allan: Right,

j_k_emezi: but it would not have an impact on them.

corey_allan: Right,

j_k_emezi: They didn't need it.

corey_allan: right,

j_k_emezi: Yeah, so

corey_allan: yeah,

j_k_emezi: that's kind of how the The one to two year process works.

corey_allan: Yeah, that's the description of. It's not a hundred per cent clean and how I'm living life, because I can't always avoid the temptations, the struggle, the areas that what comes at me, I can't. I have very little influence over. I can't in the lifestyle aspect right. I can put myself in situations where you know. Don't go hang out on the cesspool of that site Because I know That could lead me. That's just good judgment. but I love what you're describing in the sense that when I come to grips with a different relationship with myself, and even though I love the way you phrase this, I don't hear this too much of and my relationship I had with pornography. I don't go immediately. That's just all shame. It's a bad and destructive thing. Yes, but I don't need to keep on shame to it and it's recognizing there's there's this dilemma. Oh, I can then be exposed to something. I'm in a movie And you know there's there's a sex scene And it's like okay, but I don't stay there like I would have. That's kind of what you're describing then right. It's like it doesn't take

j_k_emezi: Yeah,

corey_allan: me down. the whole What was her name? I'm finding her later in blah blah blah blah ball. instead, it was just all right and they just keep on moving with the scenes.

j_k_emezi: Exactly you don't you, don't. It doesn't carry on, but most importantly you, you come to realize what healthy sexuality is,

corey_allan: Yeah,

j_k_emezi: and a lot of men do not know what healthy sexuality is, and actually feel very bad for a lot of young men these days because they grow up in a culture where Um, long term relationships are not viewed as the norm.

corey_allan: Yeah,

j_k_emezi: Sex is prioritized over everything, and you know When it comes to the whole recovery process just to change gears a little bit. this idea of perfection is like. you must be perfect in your

corey_allan: Yeah,

j_k_emezi: recovery. In order to end this behavior

corey_allan: Yeah,

j_k_emezi: right, The right way to end this behavior is to be human. It was Dr. Albert Ellis, the founder of Rationally motive Behaviral therapy. You said we can

corey_allan: One

j_k_emezi: all

corey_allan: of my favorites.

j_k_emezi: recover.

corey_allan: one of my

j_k_emezi: Okay,

corey_allan: favorites.

j_k_emezi: cool Albert Lis fan,

corey_allan: Yep,

j_k_emezi: as am I, big fan of it. Um, he said, all of us can recover from our addict Behaviors, but none of us can recover from being human.

corey_allan: Yeah,

j_k_emezi: And when I heard that, I was just like Yeah, Yeah, that's that's how this is going to work for me. Just accepting our flaws, accepting

corey_allan: Yeah,

j_k_emezi: that we're going to fall. That's the way you. Re. That's actually the way you do everything in life. So I don't

corey_allan: Yes,

j_k_emezi: understand why some methodology stress perfection. You know,

corey_allan: Yeah, that's that's just self, love and self grace, and and graciousness towards my, You know, my humanness, my flaws, the flesh, everything

j_k_emezi: I love that word Grace. It's

corey_allan: Denying.

j_k_emezi: not one I use often, but

corey_allan: Yeah,

j_k_emezi: but I like

corey_allan: the

j_k_emezi: it.

corey_allan: denying is denying its existence doesn't help anything right.

j_k_emezi: No, no, it doesn't.

corey_allan: so

j_k_emezi: it doesn't.

corey_allan: man, so tell people how they can find you as we wrap up this segment,

j_k_emezi: Well, my name is. I have a long name, but everyone calls me J. K. Mazie. You can find me at Elevated recovery, Dot or G. You can search for our podcast called the Ponrebotpodcast such as Google Us, or just search for us on you. Just search for pornreboots and you'll see my face all over the place and some crazy

corey_allan: Perfect,

j_k_emezi: thumb nails.

corey_allan: well, man, thank you so much for for thus far I want. I want to pivot, though in the extended content