We are all sexual beings.
Our sexuality is intimately linked with the rest of our life.
It’s even linked to our spirituality.
In fact, the two are intertwined.
That’s the way everything is in life. You may think you’re a compartmentalized being: able to be the work you, the home you, the friend you, etc. – but each area is interrelated and intertwined.
Years ago my wife an I were decluttering the house. We came across some of the strangest things. Old pictures of us or family members. Ribbons we won in school. The metal Dukes of Hazard lunch pale I carried in elementary school (and now my son has even used) .
To others, these things would only be worth the cost of the item, minus depreciation. But to me, these things have deeper meanings. It’s reminders of playing in the creek on the way home from school. Of riding my bike so fast I thought I could fly.
Yes, it’s a lunch pale, but it’s more than a lunch pale.
We do this all the time.
Things often have more meaning than the thing itself.
Sex is the same.
It’s an act yes, but it’s often more than an act.
The key to uncovering deeper, more meaningful, more passionate sex rests in the meaning we give it. And then how we seek it.
Or as Rob Bell in his book Sex God puts it: this is actually about that.
There’s always something deeper to the things in our life.
A couple keeps having these same arguments about trivial things. Yesterday it was how to park the car, before that it was the phone bill, before that it was about whose turn it was to take the dog out, and now it’s happening again. They’re in the kitchen debating how to properly slice a tomato. They’ve been married for several years and would say it’s been great, but they’re at this point in the relationship where deeper issues like trust and commitment and kids and vulnerability are lingering in their minds and hearts, and underneath it all they both have this question: “If I get closer to my spouse will they leave me?” But neither of them has voiced this, and both of them experienced their parents’ divorcing at a young age, so anytime tension or conflict comes up, things get confusing quickly and so they’re just at this moment realizing that this argument has nothing to do with how to slice a tomato.*
Another example, the foreplay is progressing along fine, you’re both enjoying the time together when suddenly your spouse disengages and it has nothing to do with what’s going on at the moment but you takes offense and storm off while your spouse lays there feeling even more alone and guilty.
So what’s the meaning you have when it comes to sex? Connection. Release. Love. Power. Commitment. Procreation.
No one can define it for you. It must come from you.
If you’re interested in expanding the meaning you place on sex, and learning the path to breaking free of monotonous, mediocre sex – Join SCORE today!
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*Adapted from Sex God by Rob Bell.
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