The Secret to Comforting Your Spouse

Relationship Design

Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Matthew of Adventure-Some.
Do you know what to do when your spouse needs comforting?
Perhaps you make hot tea, bring their favorite slippers and a robe, and get out of the way. Then you just sit awkwardly back, hoping they begin to feel better.
Maybe you hope that they begin to tell you what is wrong.
Perhaps you already know, and your brain is overheating as you try to come up with a solution to the problem.
Try as you might, you just can’t make it better.
Unless the problem was caused by you, there is nothing that you can do to fix it. (If it was caused by you, you’d better know how to say “I’m sorry”.)
Since you can’t fix the problem, here are 4 words that will help as you comfort your spouse:
“Shut Up. Don’t Move.”
Remembering these 4 simple words, and following their advice, can help you to provide far more comfort than many other things that you could do.

Shut Up

No matter what the situation is, or what the details are, the chance that you will say something that is really helpful is frightfully slim. However, the chance that you will say something that won’t help at all is altogether too large. Do you really want to risk saying something that would make the situation worse? Don’t take the chance.

Don’t Move

Often the tendency is to try and do things, to fix the problem. But you can’t do that. Don’t run around, trying to get things under control. Instead, don’t move. Be present with your spouse, so that you can respond to them in the way that they indicate. Just follow their lead.
This advice is not easy to follow, short though it may be.
Like many great bits of wisdom, it is easy to remember. Now it’s up to you to put it to use.
The next time your spouse needs comforting, put these four words into action.
Matthew writes at Adventure-Some, a blog about pursuing the adventure available in life, both on a daily and one-time basis.

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